After trying to adjust to French culture and their silly bureaucracy one begins to get used to the hoops and hurdles. A recent trip to the swimming pool reminded me of just how ridiculous these people can be sometimes. The trip went something like this:
10:30am Greg leaves the apartment with cousins Agnes, Sarah, and Caroline
10:35 On the way Greg checks his bag to make sure he has his speedo, he learned from his last trip that board shorts are "unsanitary" and speedos are "compulsory"
10:40 Arrives at the pool to find that it is closed for "unscheduled cleaning"
10:45 En route to another more expensive pool in the neighborhood
10:50 Arrive at pool #2, a senior aquafit class is in session, have to wait until 11 in the lobby
11:00 An arbitrary red line in the hallway enroute to the dressing rooms marks the point where one must remove their shoes (unsanitary also) but not their socks
11:05 A speedo-clad Greg walks out of his dressing room only to realize he doesn't have the second compulsory item, a swim cap
11:10 The swim cap vending machine, 1.50euros, is broken, there are 4.00euros at the front desk
11:12 Lifeguard sends Greg's complaint about this to the dressing room manager
11:15 Greg's cousin Agnes argues with the manager in rapid fire French to get a free swim cap for Greg, it works, sweet
11:20 Greg steps onto the pool deck finally, dripping wet from a freezing "compulsory shower"
11:20 Greg sees that there are three lap lanes and one free-for-all giant section
11:22 Greg learns from the lifeguard that lane #1 is for swim lessons only, lane #2 is for all strokes except for breaststroke, apparantly this is the "fast lane," lane #3 is for all strokes.
11:25 Greg finds himself in the fast lane, behind backstrokers, going very slowly.
11:50 After a few good laps Greg goes to check on the cousins
12:05 Cousins are tired and the decision is made that they have been at the pool long enough, before leaving Greg witnesses two backstrokers in the melee lane run headlong into each other, makes the trip well worth it
12:15 After showering off and changing Greg forgets about the arbitrary red line and walks down the hallway with his shoes on, this garners a dirty look from the manager
